Archive for November, 2011

TGOJ Retro Review – Super Mario Kart

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , , on November 29, 2011 by Josh

Mario in a non-platforming game...unheard of.

With the upcoming release of Mario Kart 7 on the 3DS, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on another great classic of the annals of gaming…Super Mario Kart. This trend of reviewing “good” current and retro games will not last forever here on Three Guys One Joystick, so enjoy the kind words found in this article about Super Mario Kart. Read more »

TGOJ Thanksgiving Retro Review – Eggomania

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags on November 24, 2011 by Josh

A chicken that looks like a turkey shitting eggs onto a frog looking bear with a tray on his head...genius!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all stay awake long enough after your Thanksgiving feasts to get some valuable vacation-game time in. I was trying to think of a Thanksgiving and turkey related video game and the only game that came to mind was the 1982 Atari game Eggomania starring a chicken that looked like a turkey. This game played much like Kaboom for the Atari. The turkey-chicken would crap eggs onto the lower half of the screen and the player would have to control the blue bear (yes, that’s a bear) across the bottom of the screen with an Atari paddle. The bear would catch these eggs with a plate attached to his head. The object was simple, catch as many eggs as possible. At the end of a round, you had the opportunity to launch the eggs back at the turkey-chicken for bonus points. The game had two challenge levels which would alter the size of the plate on the bears head. After each round, the game would naturally increase in difficulty as the gameplay would increase in speed. There isn’t much more to say about this crap game, but it served its purpose for me as acting as our holiday retro review to you readers. Don’t play this pile of shit, just check out some gameplay footage on YouTube.

Have a great turkey day everyone, and be sure to take advantage of all those sales out there right now to grab some of the great games that have been released this year. I’ve already given a recap of what games I deemed worthy of a purchase. Also check out Cheap Ass Gamer to direct you to all the great video game deals out there right now.

Episode 7: The Elder Scrolls

Posted in Podcast Episodes with tags , , , , , , , , on November 23, 2011 by Josh

This week, we sadly lost Mike to the void that is “the holidays” and he wasn’t able to record. That being so, your hosts Derek and Josh went ahead and recorded without him! We decided to hold off on the Wolfenstein/Id Software episode since Mike is our resident Id games specialist, and instead discussed some of our memories of past and current Elder Scrolls games. Its a bit longer than our standard podcast, but we hope you enjoy listening to this as much as we enjoyed talking about The Elder Scrolls.

Also be sure to check out our podcast archive to catch up on any of the episodes you may have missed!

Oblivion and Skyrim are unbelievable games, but the series dates back to 1994 and started with these two games.

TGOJ Retro Reviews – Hyperzone

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , on November 21, 2011 by Josh
Get ready to shoot things all hyper like

Get ready to shoot things all hyper like.

The Super NES (or SNES) launched in 1991 with only a few games. Super Mario World, F-Zero, Pilotwings, SimCity and Gradius 3 were it. These were great games though. Gradius III, SimCity and Super Mario World allowed us to revisit familiar franchises re-imagined with the power this new console had to offer. F-Zero and Pilotwings were basically thrown into the mix to show off the SNES’s Mode-7 capabilities. A month after it launched, the SNES was heating up with releases such as Populous, Super R-Type, U.N. Squadron, Final Fight and Hyperzone (to name a few). Derek and I were late to the console’s launch, receiving our SNES late in the year of 1992. That didn’t stop us from buying SNES launch titles. One of those games we ended up with was Hyperzone. Read more »

What’s in Mike’s Pocket? Bike Baron!

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , , on November 18, 2011 by Mike

Motorcycle - check. Ramps - check. Crazy jumps - check. Playable weird pig creature - check.

I’m a big fan of Trials HD on XBLA.  Trials HD is a game about a guy on a motorcycle who has to navigate increasingly difficult obstacle courses.  The gameplay is strictly 2D, so it feels a lot like Excitebike and Mario had a really fun baby.

I also play a lot of games on my iPhone.  So naturally I’ve wanted to combine these two things for quite a while. Read more »

Skyrim Impressions – Our Needless Contribution to the Pool of Reviews

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2011 by Josh
Special Pot

Cooking Pot of +10 Store Clerk Blindness

Derek and I finally got our hands on Skyrim, and it hasn’t let us down yet. We both know there are over 60 reviews for this game, and we know that this game has received high marks. So we won’t bore you too much with a detailed and professional review. We decided to give you our first impressions of the game, tell you if this game is worth what minimal gaming time you have, and compare this to a few other modern RPGs we like. Follow us after the break below for our Skyrim impressions!

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Gaming 2011 – Reflecting On What I Played This Year That Hasn’t Sucked

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 12, 2011 by Josh

I was very worried about the quality of games coming out this year. We started on a high note with Dead Space 2 (that game made me rock hard) and then the shitty tone was set with the release of Dragon Age 2 and Ghostbusters: Sanctum of Slime (totally flaccid). But as they say, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”… or, “I shouldn’t have said that all games this year are going to suck ass based on my hatred for just a few games I played back in March.” Continue on after the break to hear about the games that are worthy of your time.

Crysis 2

Crysis 2 even looks this good on consoles...take that PC gamers!

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Skyrim – Kill Dragons and Stuff

Posted in News on November 10, 2011 by Josh
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

We are pumped up for Skyrim, check out the reviews people.

Derek and I really like RPGs…especially Western RPGs. Mike…I think he likes them in small doses or when they star college aged Japanese girls with plaid skirts and knee high stockings (I think, I could be wrong…correct me here Mike if need be). Either way, we at Three Guys One Joystick are pumped up for Skyrim and enjoy a good RPG. We especially like an RPG that can actually hold our attention with a good plot, good character/stat development and great battle mechanics. Lets face it, we don’t have enough time to play long, shitty RPGs. We represent you readers. The working class nerds of all ages who don’t have all the time they would like to play games. So this article just serves as a reminder to not screw around with shitty games and go buy Skyrim, and let us know what you think. Lets just bask in the warmth of insanely high reviews Skyrim has received so far. It seems like this game will be worth our time, and yours. You can be sure that we will eventually be posting some podcasts up about Bethesda’s Elder Scrolls games (or any other Western RPG of choice), so it will be worth it to get your questions or comments ready now. Lets talk about Skyrim people.  Let us know what your first impressions are tomorrow, we will let you all know ours for sure.

Video Game Sales – Start Your Holiday Shopping Now

Posted in Deals on November 9, 2011 by Josh

GameFly Has Sales!

Word has it GameFly is having some sales on used games and offering other newer games at a slightly reduced cost with free shipping or really really new games at full price with free shipping.  Either way, check out the link I’ve posted to get a head start on your holiday video game purchases!

Our Guest Speaker from the Doom Episode!

Posted in Reviews/Rants with tags , , , , , , , on November 7, 2011 by derek

If you haven’t listened to the Doom Episode, you suck… But you can redeem yourself NOW by listening to it!

As days pass and as we make more and more intriguing and entertaining postings and episodes, we obviously become more and more popular.  So popular that we actually had a GUEST APPEARANCE on our Doom Episode… Yes fans, Deckard Cain himself joined in on our Episode and shared a few good words with us.


Deckard Cain

Deckard Cain really has that Southern Hospitality thing down!

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