Things That Do Not Suck As Told By Josh (TGOJ Canon)

by Josh
Gaming Is Bad Ass

Look how bad ass gaming is...this dude is so happy because owning that Atari did not suck!

There are many things in the gaming world that really get under our skin at Three Guys One Joystick. So I’ve made this quick (but short and in no way complete) guide to a few things in the gaming industry that don’t piss me off (I can not speak for Derek and Mike though, but we usually agree). I decided to make a list of the things that don’t suck in gaming because an exhaustive list of all things that DO suck would be ridiculously long (albeit funny as hell). So, please join me in this journey of a few of the things you should learn to appreciate and/or make an effort to do in the gaming world.

Adventures of Lolo (NES) – Stage 1

Adventures of Lolo Stage 1

Wow this stage was easy as shit...

I remember getting this game somewhere around 1990, a year after its release stateside, and I was really excited at the time when I received this game. This game is in no way the best of the puzzle/action type of games out there, but it was very unique at the time for someone 10 years of age with no experience with this genre. Stage 1 of this game was awesome, I could beat the shit out of that little fucking green snake thing. I shot it, it turned into an egg…then I’d blast it dead, right off the screen. I won. Well this game tested my small 10 year old brain and it got way too challenging for me beyond the first handful of stages. Stick to stage 1 if you play Adventures of Lolo…you will feel like a god who mastered the puzzle/action game genre!

Doom and Wolfenstein 3D

Doom

Nothing is more satisfying than blasting shit to a mess of bloody gibs.

Wolfenstein 3D

Everything I learned about WWII at a young age began with this game.

The first person shooter genre was basically invented by these two games. Granted, there were plenty of other first person perspective type games out since the late 70’s, it wasn’t until these two games came out that one really felt immersed in their killing rampage. Assholes who love the Call of Duty series (disclaimer: I am an asshole since I too like certain aspects of the Call of Duty series) have id and these two games to thank for creating the genre as we know it and owe it to themselves to play Doom and Wolfenstein 3D.

Donkey Kong (Gameboy)

Donkey Kong (Gameboy)

Maybe one of the best Gameboy titles of all time.

There have been many Donkey Kong games…maybe too many since there are lots of shitty Donkey Kong games to sort through to find the good ones. Maybe one of the BEST Donkey Kong games (next to the original Donkey Kong) is Donkey Kong on the Gameboy. This game stays true to the original Donkey Kong, but as soon as the gamer finishes the classic levels (these levels are the first few stages played on this game) a huge new game presents itself with 101 challenging levels. Mario has some new moves at his command (more in line with what you would expect from a Super Mario game), and the new stages present some of the greatest platforming experiences ever. Play this game now, and if you don’t agree with me, piss off.

Selling Your Copy Of Dragon Age 2

Dragon Age 2 Game Cover

That dragon is made of shit...as is the rest of this game.

You may remember my distaste for this steamy pile of crap. Selling Dragon Age 2 back to the store and receiving store credit to buy back the copy of Dragon Age: Origins I originally sold before buying Dragon Age 2…probably the best moment I had in my many years of being a gamer. This game sucks a fat dong (but I’m still buying Mass Effect 3).

The Handychipper

Handychipper

Take a seat zombies!

Sometimes I like a game that is so absurd and stupid crazy that it makes me forget what I’m doing because of how much fun it is. Most call these kind of games “dumb fun”. Dead Rising 2 definitely falls into that category. In the game, you combine items you find in the game world to create some of the stupidest, craziest, and funniest weapons you will ever virtually slaughter a zombie with. One such weapon was the handychipper. The first time I put this together in-game and ran through a crowd of zombies with it I practically shit myself laughing. It’s basically a lawnmower attached to the seat of a wheelchair blade side up…you push said wheelchair up to a zombie…make them take a seat…and watch the awesome happen!

Handychipper Post Zombie Death

Zombies magically vanish once they take a seat on the handychipper!

Check back for our next post of “Things That Do Not Suck” in gaming. I guarantee that Mike will most likely post a list of “Things That Suck” in gaming. Either way, this shit is funny. E-mail us your not-so-sucky and/or sucky gaming experiences. We’d like to hear from you!

One Response to “Things That Do Not Suck As Told By Josh (TGOJ Canon)”

  1. Hello there, You have performed a fantastic job. I will definitely digg it and for my part recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this website.

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